Made For This
Well we are back up and running for season two and we are more than thrilled at the opportunity to get to do this again. There are some scheduling logistics I haven’t figured out yet, but when you are moving at this pace some things have to be managed on the fly. For any of you that are moms, you understand it’s basically like a full time job getting four kids situated for gymnastics, tutoring, swim lessons, and summer schedules. I am horrible with calendars. I like to write down what I have scheduled but I forget the important part of looking over it so I will remember what’s up for each day. I like to pretend like I am good at keeping up, in fact I have four calendars in my bag. One is for home, one is for kids, one is for the show, and the last is for work. My life is a scheduling nightmare right now but it keeps me on my toes and keeps things interesting. I guess this is the price you pay when you decide to be a working mom with several things going on at once.
I remember there was a season when I felt like I needed to stay home full time to be with my babies. I only had one calendar at the time and I still struggled keeping up with everyday tasks. Regardless, it was such a good time to pour into their little hearts and be with them. Ever since my babies were little, I have weaved my way in and out of work to make sure the kiddos knew they were my priority. Now that I am working again, the hardest part for me is being away from the children. I find it paradoxical because I love this amazing opportunity that’s in front of me and I get giddy when I think about it, but I also get sad when I walk out the door knowing I may miss out on something with the kids that day.
My youngest was upset the other day and held onto my leg and said, “Mommy, don’t leave.” I got choked up and looked at her right in the eye and told her, “You know I choose you over work, I would rather spend all day with you than leave, but right now mommy has a specific job to do and even though you aren’t going with me, you are a big part of it.” I explained to her that she and her siblings are a special part of the big picture. Being gone a lot won’t last forever. I won’t let it. But for now I need them to know they are my favorite thing about life even though things are busy. When I am with them, I have to consciously make the effort to make our short time together a rich time. For all of us moms, I think it is good to remember it’s not about the quantity of time you spend with your kids that makes the biggest difference, it’s the intentional moments you have with your kids that fill their hearts. Whether it’s five minutes of snuggling, a time right before bed when you connect with their hearts, or even an hour where you shut the phone off and be all in with them- these are the moments that matter. My biggest deal lately is playing tag with the boys right before I leave, they think this is the best thing ever and my girls just want to have a dance party. Needless to say I get 10 minutes of exercise before I walk out the door every morning and an earful of giggles.
For those of you who are working moms and struggle to find the balance between loving your job and loving your kids, I feel your pain. We have to let go of the guilt and rather than feel burdened about missing out, we need to celebrate the fact that we are doing what we were made to do. I was made to design and help people with their homes. I was also made to raise my four children and love them well. This is not about me “choosing” something over another. I have finally found peace with all this, not balance, just peace. If I am intentionally being and doing what God created me for, He is going to fill in the gaps and all the places I am lacking. He’s got this. All of it.
Celebrate your gifting today. Whether it be reading to your child, encouraging a friend, or hitting your monthly goals at work. Live your life in such a way that you are walking out in what you were made to do and let Him fill in all the places you simply can’t. I truly believe that this is an exciting position to be in; it requires more of Him and this is when we start to see big things happen. Let go of guilt and get after it! You were made for this!